If Only

I laid by the fire and cried
For what could have been but never was
And told myself it didn’t matter.
I see you sitting on the hardwood floor
Naked and cross-legged in the Mission sun,
Lifting your head to show a smile
Saying it was the best, the most connected sex
You’d ever had.
I wanted you with me, around me, and in me
And I wanted you to stay.
So I waited out your other vows
Till you were called to leave this life
Before our love had found its way.